You Can't Deny How Truthful These 15 Tweets Are About The Life Of A Contact-Lens Wearer
by N/A, 10 years ago |
5 min read
It's important to find humor in the little things, even if you can't see those little things so clearly and they're really blurry from a certain distance.
1. Absolutely. Lefty's a real dick.
2. Eye find this pun to be very cornea.
3. Contact lens users can be a needy, lazy bunch.
4. Wow, your glasses must get even dirtier than my thoughts are right now.
5. So that's why that guy freaked out the other day.
6. But the profound, dominant gesture would quickly be replaced by arm flailing as you writhe in the pain of having a tiny suction cup ripped of your eyeball.
7. SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!
8. Don't worry about your coworkers. They're just a bunch of inconsiderate, unobservant fools.
9. Sometimes it's actually convenient to have contacts. Like when something's super disgusting and you just really, really don't want to look at it.
10. Choose your side carefully.
11. Not unlike the two condom theory.
Which is dumb. Seriously, don't try it.
12. Heard you can take care of that with some gasoline.
Just kidding. DO NOT POUR GASOLINE INTO YOUR EYE BALL.
13. A block? Try five feet.
14. That's what they call the contact hangover. Been there before.
15. And then you cry, curse God for giving you that dumb face, and go back to bed.
Take good care of those eyeballs. They're precious.
✕
Do not show me this again