If You're Married, You'll Totally Get These 17 Hilarious Tweets
Yeah, 90% of the time you and your husband/wife have together will be spent asking "where do you want to go to dinner?" promptly followed by an "IDK."
1. Double standards. Get used to 'em
2. One of the best things about having a husband: you can convince him of just about anything
And if you're the husband, your mantra should just become "I'm sorry honey."
3. Sometimes the little things will strain your relationship
4. If you're married, sharing finances should be nothing new to you
5. You may still feel like Wayne, but she's a little too mature to be Garth
6. Actually, your maturity level will probably never be on par with your husband/wife
At least he keeps his donut glasses clean.
7. The keep to a successful marriage: keep the romance alive
8. "We may share a bed, a house, a car, kids and a life together, but don't touch my Kit-Kats"
10. "Hey babe, do you think I could have more than two inches on the side of the mattress tonight?
"Oh are you asleep? Okay, goodnight honey." *falls off bed*
9. Pro tip: unless you become a mindreader, you will never, ever be right
Get used to it.
11. If your marriage is truly happy, your husband/wife won't let a silly thing like sleep get in the way of a truly great cat video
12. This is one of the greatest discoveries a husband can make
Also, throw a fit every time your wife drags you along shopping. If you make the experience miserable enough for her, you won't have to go anymore. Problem solved!
13. Sometimes you just have to wait and see who cracks first
14. Actually, marriage is just one lifelong standoff
15. Because 50/50 is better than "absolutely not tonight"
16. I knew they did this on purpose!
But I'll be damned if it isn't some top-quality trolling.
17. Finally, if you want to keep your marriage happy for the rest of your life:
Marriage is a beautiful thing.
