6 Confusing Things That Happen When You're Casually Dating Someone
To label or not to label?
1. You don't want to label your relationship, but at the same time, labels are necessary
Lines become blurred when you've hooked up more than a few times. You start talking during the day and find that you miss him/her when you see something that reminds you of them. But when you haven't had the "what are we?" conversation, it's hard to be completely sure what the other person is feeling. Are they thinking about you as much as you're thinking about them? Are they hooking up with other people? No one likes the idea of putting a label on things, because obviously, labels mean commitment - which is what so many of us are afraid of.
2. They mention a friend who's the opposite sex, and you want to know if they are or were ever anything more
When he/she mentions a "friend" coming into town that's the opposite sex, the way they're so vague about it makes it seem like at one point there could have been something more between them. You're dying to know the history there, but since you haven't had "the talk" yet, you feel like it's not your place to say anything unless they bring it up. Until then, you just create a bunch of scenarios in your head which are probably the farthest thing from the truth.
3. When they say they're just looking to "have fun" WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Even though you might have both agreed when you first started hooking up that things would be casual and "fun" because you're not looking for a relationship, things change when you keep hooking up with them. It's one thing to enjoy each other's company - but there comes a time when all the "fun" you've been having together becomes fucking confusing. Maybe you're fine with calling what you have "fun" months into hooking up, but if you become frustrated with the way things are going, it might be better to just not waste your time with someone who doesn't see you as anything more than fun.
4. Posting a picture on social media together might send the wrong message
Posting a picture together on social media can be a big deal. It shouldn't be, but it can be, since social media is so public. It's sort of easing your Facebook friends and Instagram followers into the fact that you're dating someone. If it's a group shot of you guys hanging out, people won't pick up on anything, but if you take a picture of just you two, then the likes start rolling in and your friends start messaging you asking for more deets. You also don't know how the person you're hooking up with is going to react. If they wake up and suddenly you're in their profile picture, they might think you're taking things too fast - or you know, be extremely flattered. Either way, IT'S CONFUSING.
5. You're never quite sure how often you should text them and what to even say
You're not ~in a relationship,~ so do you really have to text them after their doctor's appointment to make sure everything went OK? If you're like me and text your friends 24/7 literally about nothing, it can be hard holding back from texting the person you've been seeing about the random thing that just happened to you on the train. You don't want to come off as "clingy" or "too much," but at the same time, you want them to know you're thinking about them. For the full interpretation of text messages you get when dating, check out my guide here.
6. Having those talks about feelings is awkward, even though you know it shouldn't be
Feelings are scary. Especially when you feel yourself falling for someone who may or may not feel the same way back. This is why us non-committal folks just avoid talking about feelings altogether. If you keep seeing the same person though, you get to a point where you almost have to talk about things. Sometimes, it'll come at a weird time like after you've had sex, or after a small fight about what movie you're going to watch on Netflix. You know it shouldn't be a big deal to talk about how you feel, yet it still feels like you're making yourself vulnerable to a person who may or may not feel the same way back. In my opinion, honesty is the best policy. Just lay it all out on the table if you get to this point, and trust that the rest will figure itself out. Even if things don't pan out in your favor, there's someone better